Second Chance

It was a beautiful sunny day when I died. I felt so light. I had been trying all my life to shed the extra pounds to feel a little lighter. But it never happened. Today I am really happy with my lighter self, floating like a feather in the multitude channels of air, but a little concerned that I am perfectly weightless. It was an incredible experience to defy the gravity, leaving my home, the birds and the clouds down below. I always envied superman for having the privilege to fly. I was sure superman was jealous of me that day.

It was a long journey to the Hell. It was Hell for sure because a guy like me could never go to Heaven. I was surprised when I was given a hearty welcome at the Gate of Hell. All my life, I had heard about the gruesome stories about how souls were tortured in Hell. I could not help asking the usher the reason for such a heavenly treatment in Hell. The usher, a very cool dude sporting a funky cap which displays ‘HELLIDAS’, replied joyfully “Ya man … We’re celebrating our one millionth anniversary and it’s gonna be a hell of a party … We have kidnapped all the apsaras from Heaven and they are gonna set the ramp on fire tonight … It’s gonna be really hot! This time we are doing pretty good campaigning and hope we’ll get more people here than in Heaven … Besides Hell government has decided to give people a second chance who deserve it. Our administrative staff is having a tough time handling the large number of nominations they’ve got from the Hell mates.”

“Wow!” was what I could say. I was happy for all the sins I had done all my life. It finally paid off. I wondered why no one on earth appreciated my sins. I wished I was born in hell. Suddenly, a long black limousine pulled over in front of me and a well-dressed chauffer came out. He held the door open for me as I got inside. The limo slowly moved ahead and I could see the hell around me. It was very clean unlike our country. But I was sure it could give inferiority complex to the cleanest city in the world. I could see people from all over the world but the majority consisted of Indians and Pakistanis. I was taken to a place almost like a five star hotel where I was received by a very lovely lady in red. She looked very familiar. “I must have seen her in some movies,” I thought. But I could not recollect her. She ushered me to my room and told me I could relax till 12 pm. I was informed that I had a meeting with Yamraj at 12.30 pm and after that there would be an induction program for the new Hell mates.

Meeting Yamraj was a pleasure. Though, with the big moustache, he appeared to me as the ugliest villain in a Tamil movie, he was actually very warm and welcoming. He gave all the new inductees a very hearty welcome and explained what the vision of Hell was. With heavily accentuated English, he explained what it aimed to achieve in the coming five years. He provided us with minute details of his marketing strategies for Hell. He also informed that he’d hired all the top-notch officials who lost their jobs from ‘Emron’. We came to know that there were two Indians in the board of executives. They were respected ‘Mr. Bhalu Prasad Yadav’ and ‘Mr. Harshad Mata’. ‘Bhalu’ was given a second chance to create his dream ‘Bahar’ in Hell, what he left half way through when he died. ‘Mr Harshad Mata’ was looking after the NSEH (National Stock Exchange of Hell). I was wondering what I should ask for in my ‘second chance’.

After the induction, we’re all made to stand in a row to settle our ‘second chance’ with Yamraj.

The first person I saw was ‘Imran Hajmi’. He was begging, crying in front of Yamraj to give him a second chance to kiss ‘Mallika Sharbat’. Yamraj was shocked “A second chance!! A second chance!!! I gave you lot of chances and as far as I know you made a good use of those chances. You’re still asking for chance? I wish I could send you to spend the rest of your life with a black chimpanzee, but since it’s the millionth anniversary of Hell, I’ll give you a second chance. But you won’t get ‘Mallika,’ as she is busy with other assignments. I can give you Angelina Bolie.”

Imran fainted and died again missing out his second chance.

Next in queue was Diego Daradona. He seemed very enthusiastic about the second chance. He wished to become the president of Argentina. Yamraj said, “Why don’t you go back as Daradona and help Argentina win the world cup? I believe they badly need you.” Daradona replied, “These days technology has become very advance and my ‘Hands of God’ will be visible to the whole world if I try it this time. I would rather become the president and lead a hassle-free life with my coke and drugs.” Yamraj granted his wish but he soon died in a drug overdose.

Next in queue was Micheal Whoseson. He sang to Yamraj, “Oh … baby ... Oh … baby! … Last time I was not sure who I was, so I kept vacillating between two things. Oh ... baby … oh baby … I was both father and mother to my kids. Oh baby ... Oh baby … I was bad … oh yeah … I was bad … This time I want to be sure of who I am … oh yeah.” This time he became a kid who was molested by a pop star.

Last in row was me. A few hours back, I had no idea that I was going to encounter this wonderfully uncomfortable situation. Yamraj asked me in the same dramatic tone, running his fingers over the keys on his laptop, “What is your second chance?” I was stupefied for a moment. But, time was crucial and I could not lose this opportunity of having a second chance by being silent. Without even realizing, I muttered “Yamraj.”
“Yes?”
“Yamraj.”
“Yes, I am listening to you. What do you want to become?”
“I want to become Yamraj.”
“But we can’t have two Yamrajs at the same time.”
“But we can use the second chance for you. You have been Yamraj for a millionth year now and you’ve chosen this occasion to offer all Hell mates a second chance. Why shouldn’t this apply to you as well?”
Yamraj went in to a deep silence, staring nowhere. Then after a long pause noted, “You are right maybe. But, I am the King of the Hell. I can’t become something else. But I want to know what makes you think so different from all these other people.”
“When I entered this place, I felt that it was the best place I had ever seen. For a moment, I became so engrossed in the immediate joy. However, after listening to all these people, I realized that Hell doesn’t celebrate the concept of success. The extreme desire to grab a second chance only shows the human desire to achieve more. Hell only gives a vent to the insatiety of human beings. If I take this opportunity of a second chance from you and go back to live a life of my own desire, I know I will not be happy with it and would regret all the while that I could have asked for something else.
God has given us one life and opportunities knock but once. So, I have done what I could do and I am here for what I’ve done in that one life. A second chance will only add on to my worries and will not give me joy.”

Life is a one-time affair. People who can value its worth are the winners. People who keep waiting for a second chance only live in the future, ignoring the happiness of the present moment.

Now you must be wondering what happened to me. You don’t know already? Or you want a second chance?